Feeling Nostalgic, like the: "on the verge of tears" thinking about "the good old-days", sort of nostalgic. The kind of nostalgia that creeps up on you, when you're cleaning and come across old photographs. For some reason looking at friends' wedding photos brought it all on. Friends I went to high school with, who were older than myself...but none the less, relatively close to my age, are now husbands and wives. Sure, I've always known that people grow up and move out. Friends go away to school, get jobs in other cities, and end up with lives completely separate from the places and people that they grew up with. Yet, in the last month this fact has really resonated in my heart and mind. In about a month or so, two people that I love dearly will be leaving on their own, separate, life-changing adventures. Both off to college in other cities, not too far from home, but away none the less. The thought of this, kills me. The more I have tried not to think about it, the more time has slipped away and now the change that I've tried to avoid, is right around the corner. I think the hardest thing about these changes, is that I'm not really going to be a part of them. If I was the one going off to school, it would be a different story. I would be expectantly looking forward to wrapping up the Summer, and ushering in a new adventure filled with new experiences and people. However, I am on the other end of the spectrum...at the end of August, the people I spend the most time with(apart from my immediate family), will be gone. Sure there's the weekends and holidays to look forward to, but there is no denying that the distance will change everything. As excited as I am for them, I cannot help but feel a sense of loss and anticipated loneliness.
Which brings me to my next point...
what am I doing with MY life? Currently, I am a student, and I have a job I enjoy. However, in the long run... what am I actually going to do with the major I have chosen. I feel like now that I am about half-way done with my "college" experience, I should have these issues pretty much nailed down.
Needless to say, I'm praying for direction, and clarity in various areas of my life. Relying on God's past faithfulness, knowing that I am His and the plan He has for my life is far greater than any dream or plan I could try to fulfill with my own strength.
Philippians 1:6
"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. "
