Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wake Me Up Before You Go

Today, I had to get blood taken. I've been shaky as of late, and I had a hip problem going on(which my doctor passively dismissed). So the tests were mostly due to the shakiness.

After filling out a long form, asking if I have ever had nearly,every kind of disease one could possibly imagine, I waited in my little room for the doctor for another hour(Reminding me why I hate the doctor's office). He moved my leg around, asked some questions and prescribed aleve and stretching before the gym. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I waited for two hours just to be told to do what I already have been doing. Then when he asked if anything else was going wrong, I spilled my guts. I have a cold, and I tremble a lot:with or without food in my stomach. He said it could be familial tremors(but this was most likely not the case because of the lack of family history), then he said it could possibly be an overactive thyroid(then looked me and up and down and said "but.."(Which can only mean one thing, I am far too "hefty/healthy" looking to have an overactive thyroid which causes weight loss). Bummer. Then, He asked some more questions and told me he wanted blood tests.

So my Mom and I headed back to the lab this morning, I thought it wouldn't be too bad. I wasn't really nervous, until I saw her tie the rubberband around my arm. Then I began giggling, to keep from crying. The nurse, was like: "See not that bad? Although, I've never had someone laugh the whole time". I assured her that it was simply to keep me from passing out. Which, after I was done and in possession of three less vials of blood...I'm pretty sure I started to do. Things turned black,and my ears starting ringing. Then I about threw up, and apparently turned completely pale. TMI? Anyway, bad experience. Still have the cold, and my hip still hurts. Yep...really glad I went to the doctors.

Another thing,
Too many changes all at once. Not necessarily in my own life, but in the lives of those around me. Graduations, Girlfriends, Moving, Mission trips, Vacations...I'm getting the feeling that life is changing and I'm the only one that is still sitting complacent, stuck in the hum-drum of everyday life.

A couple of things I have come to value, and yet see little of: loyalty, honestly, optimism, stability, genuineness.

Saturday, May 24, 2008


This fall, it will be one year since I started working at Nordstrom. In one big leap of faith, I applied online and got a call back. Thanks Dona.

I said goodbye to: Mandeep (World's nicest boss), Free burritos and chai on Saturday mornings, Borrowing magazines from the Deli, Being asked to "make it thin" or substitute banana for pineapple, Working with one of my best friends, and wearing bright colored shirts paired with a (usually stained) pair of khakis--never out of style.

How I miss thee, sweet, sweet smoothie king.

Then I woke up to a reality that didn't involve sitting in the back on B's computer or doing homework, waiting for a customer to walk through the door.
It involved business casual apparel, putting on a smile no matter what, 8 HOUR SHIFTS, rude fellow employees: trying to steal my customers, being pressured into opening new accounts, making 50 phone calls to my "valued" customers while still trying to sell dresses to those who happen to stumble onto my floor, putting away more articles of clothing than I can imagine, trying to remember how to deal with shady customers who are trying to steal or return 500 dollar dresses that they stole from another Nordstrom,getting the run-around when trying to return things(simply, because I work there) and quite a few other things that make life at Nordstrom quite difficult.

*Another fun fact: every single employee that works on the second level of Nordstrom is a female. And if you have any experience with females who are all competing to increase their own sales, open new accounts, and form personal relationships with customers, you know that things can get quite ugly.

I have also really enjoyed getting to know the many ladies who have come and gone in the departments that surround my own. I really love the girls in active and narrative, we don't get mad at each other, and we don't steal sales. In fact, the other day a lady who was, of course, trying to return a 350 dollar dress that she stole(she's in the system for shop lifting) from another store, commented about how nice we all were to each other. Quite a rarity among competing females. Also, I have the best manager I could ever ask for: who certainly doesn't get enough respect or kudos for all she does. When she gets a bonus for making our department goal for the month(most managers keep it), she had bought us all dresses or on another occasion: given us all gift cards. Not to mention, she works her butt off to make sure that all of her girls get to work the days we want and have off the days we have school or activities. She is so amazing, I can talk to her about anything and she's always giving me sales that should have been hers. I love her. She makes working there worth it. Another thing that makes my job gratifying, is seeing a lady who has already decided that; her knees are too wrinkly, her thighs are huge and her arms are too flabby for a dress, walk away with a huge smile and a lovely dress that gives a boost of confidence and makes her feel great.It always makes me happy, oddly enough.

Dear Nordstrom-
I'm still undecided on how I feel about you.


To my awesome friend Carrie Marie(Panda/Mom/Former Bossy Youth Leader/Current Bossy friend). Today she graduated from BIOLA University with her bachelors in Biblical Studies. With crazy stories of Greek class, and other ridiculously difficult courses, it was definitely really awesome to see that ALL of her hard work paid off. Carrie, I know you worked really hard, even if you didn't have a little star by your name in the program. I'm so proud of you!

(The Tres Penguinos Halloween of '07)

Also, another jewel of a verse came out of my, often loathed, DailyBibleVerse emails:

I sing quite often, and I say a lot, but how much of what I say or sing is significant? It is not enough to do these things, it is more about the heart with which I do them. This was a reminder to constantly give thanks to my God in everything, for his mercy and abundant blessings.

Ephesians 5:19-20
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Saturday, May 17, 2008


Today, I honestly saw something that broke my heart.

I was driving home from work, tired and barely aware of my surroundings, when I noticed an SUV in front of me with a huge sticker scrolled across the back window. I normally don't pay attention to things like that, but for some reason it caught my eye.

I began to read it, and then started crying.

The writing on the back window read:

In loving memory of (in bold letters),

My loving wife(with the date of her death)
Daddy's little angel
Daddy's boy
Daddy's little boy (with the distance between his birth and death being only one year)
and another name(with the date of his death beside it)

All of the dates of death were on July 17th of 2003.

I don't understand how someone can lose so many people they love, and still survive.
How do you recover, rebuild, and go one with your life after something so tragic?

I will never forget that sticker, and the sorrow I felt for that person inside.

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Finals are finished! I have officially completed my freshman year of college. Weird. The funny things is...I do not feel like I am smarter, or that I have learned any great lesson that I will carry with me through my life. I guess all the GE courses I took, could explain some of this. But, I just feel like I spent my entire freshman year procrastinating, barely skating by, scrambling to complete things, being overwhelmed and forming other unnecessary, non-beneficial habits.

I take that back, I have learned a life lesson. Procrastinating and being lazy in my study habits has gotten me no where. Being late, speeding, staying up late and other last minute make-up tactics can all be avoided: if I choose to be diligent and avoid putting things off.

Note to self: DO NOT PROCRASTINATE, its not worth all the stress it causes.

On a brighter note: whats done is done. Now I have the SUMMER to look forward too!!! Done, done, done:)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Today, while studying I ran across a map of various places where genocide and atrocities have taken place. I was astonished, it was a map of the world and a little over twenty places were marked with little red sculls and the death toll beside it. Each place had numbers ranging from 3 thousand to 20 million deaths. Personally, I was only really familiar with two of them. The Nazi extermination of Jews and Non-Arian Peoples during the Holocaust(12,000,000 in 1939-1945) and the genocide in
Rwanda(800,000 in 1994).

These are some of the sites that were shown on the map:

Iraq 1980-1999 (600,000 through ethnic cleansing and germ warfare)

USSR 1924-1987(20,000,000 through forced famine, ethnic cleansing, and political purges)

Nigeria 1967-1970 (1,000,000)

Turkey 1915-1918 (1,500,000 Armenians in Turkey)

Congo 1900-1908 (3,000,000)

Millions of people died: murdered, starved, raped and gassed. For what? Who is one group or dictator, to decide who is worthy of living? Why did no one stop them? Were there so many people, who agreed that a whole ethnic group should die to cleanse a nation? I don't understand.

Stefanie and I visited the Museum of Tolerance this weekend, I have been there twice: cried both times. So much pain, inflicted on these people who are just as valuable as the Germans who decided they were not.

Thoughts: mostly of grief for those who perished and fear for those who will have to answer to the God who created the people they chose to destroy.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Good Luck

Things that I have noticed that are definitely standard in my life.

My room is always dirty, and the when I do make an attempt to clean it: It is thrashed by day two.

I am extremely awkward around people that I haven't seen in a long time, I literally would rather NOT say hello..than have to make awkward conversation.
Saying things are awkward all the time...makes things awkward ALL THE TIME.

As much as I try to save is impossible. I am still trying to figure out why there is under a hundred dollars in my account EVERY time pay day rolls around. Which means, it takes me approximately two weeks to blow through 500 bucks?!

I will never be gutsy enough to tell someone how I feel about them, even though I tell myself "life is short...who cares?"--I'm just not that convincing I guess.
(However, I'm pretty sure this is a good thing)

I will always spill, no matter what. I also make a ridiculous spill EVERY time I see Carrie Allen...only giving her more ammunition with which to torture me. Last week, while sitting at her "Rock for Justice" ticket booth...I convinced her to ask one of the guys going into the cafe, to bring me back an ice-cream cone. After he so graciously brought me back a cone filled with creamy goodness, I dropped the top half right off the cone. A chunk of ice-cream just plopped right down on the table.

My new favorite phrase is "Don't judge me." Works like a charm.

New favorite hand motion..."the wolf."
Thank you Pierce. Owwooooooo